i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
