Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
