My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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