Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
