WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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