um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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