remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You did what with his pubic hair?
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