My nipple is on Facebook.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
