I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
