Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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