I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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