Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we made out on top of his cat.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
