i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
