i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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