I hate your face
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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