you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
