And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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