fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
