$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
