i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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