I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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