You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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