Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
