i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
