Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
