Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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