my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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