Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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