dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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