i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
