I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
