could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
