you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
