i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
