So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
