i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need to sanitize my soul.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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