She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize