So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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