My entire life is one complicated drinking game
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize