I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
