My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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