dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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