The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
