Your dad touched me again.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
