I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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