I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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