In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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