I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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