why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am one with the molecules
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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