So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
