why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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