i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
