Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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