can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
