He kissed a someone with a penis
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
