Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
