There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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