New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
