Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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